Children bring their mothers enormous pride and joy when they become engaged to be married. The shopping for the mother of the bride and groom outfits can begin once the rush of the engagement news subsides. Mother of the bride and groom outfits should be comfortable, well fitted and age appropriate, and can be matched to the color, theme and style of the bridal party. Mothers synchronizing their outfits has been a custom for several years. Attending other weddings, reading bridal magazines and visiting wedding gown department stores can begin the journey. Having an idea in mind as to style preference when commencing the search may also be a good idea.

My son was recently asked to attend as best man in the wedding of one of his friends. The mother of the groom was perturbed through most of the planning for the marriage because not all her ideas were chosen. The bride's mother tried to interest the groom's mother in the shopping process for their outfits, however the groom's mother had no interest.. The bride's mother selected her outfit choosing as her mother of the bride outfit an elegant, stylish and flattering gown. She looked wonderful and was a compliment to the entire wedding. The mother of the groom chose as her mother of the groom outfit the same dress style as the bridesmaids, but in a slightly different shade. Unfortunately, the dress was not age appropriate or flattering to the groom's mother and she spent one of the most memorable days she would ever have feeling contrite and absurd.

A few insights. When picking out a mother of the bride or groom dress, courteously ask the bride if she has any particular style in mind and if you wish, invite her along for fittings and to help choose what she may want you to wear. The bride can have input if she and you want it, but do not hesitate to speak up if the outfit she prefers is unflattering or price is an issue.

Specialty dress shops have special mother of the bride and groom outfits. Remember that you don't have to get your outfit from a specialty dress shop. Department stores sell formal wear for certain times of the year and distinctive occasions. Guaranteed, those outfits will be lower priced than a dress in a specialty shop.

If, however, the bride has picked out something distinctive in a particular store, you may want to honor her wishes by accepting or at least considering her choice. If cost is an issue, remind her of that fact and see if you can find something very close. If she is still adamant, then compromise becomes the solution. This is the bride and groom's special day and it involves cooperation and support from the mother of the bride and groom. Once you experience the joy and laughter on your child's wedding day, every dispute will be forgotten and you'll be the happiest mothers of the bride and groom ever.

This wedding made me recognize that the day belongs to the bride and groom, not me. I will assist them. I will offer opinions if asked, hold my tongue if it's not. I will even allow them input on the mother of the bride and groom outfits so as to not make them feel uncomfortable them as their friend was mortified. Realizing that this is the bride and groom's day and not mine may be the most valuable lesson to come out of my children wedding day.

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